Breaking the Patterns You Inherited.

Why do so many people feel stuck repeating the same patterns in their lives?

In this episode of the Life’s Deceit Podcast, Jen sits down with Larisa Makuch, transformational coach, speaker, and founder of Abundance Academy, to unpack the deeper beliefs that quietly shape how we think about identity, money, success, and self-worth.

Many of the patterns we live by were inherited long before we were aware of them. Family beliefs, cultural conditioning, and early experiences can create invisible limits that follow us into adulthood. When those beliefs go unexamined, they quietly shape our decisions, relationships, and even how much success we believe we deserve.

Larisa shares powerful insights about truth, healing, and personal responsibility, along with the inner work required to break generational patterns and begin designing a life that aligns with who you truly are.

This conversation explores:

• Why inherited beliefs often keep people stuck in repeating life cycles
  
  
• How money mindset and self-worth are deeply connected
  
  
• The importance of truth and personal responsibility in transformation
  
  
• Why real change begins with a conscious decision
  
  
• How healing allows you to step into the life you were meant to build
  
  

Season 4 of Life’s Deceit, Legacy by Choice, focuses on breaking cycles and intentionally designing a new legacy.

Because legacy is not inherited.
It is chosen.

Connect with Larisa Makuch

Instagram: @myabundanceacademy
Website: https://myabundanceacademy.com

Free Book: https://stopprocrastinatingbook.com

Connect with Jenelle

📧 Email: podcast@jenellesimpson.com

🌐 Website: https://jenellesimpson.com

📸 Instagram:

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome back to Life's Disease Podcast. This is season four, Living the Unapologetic Truth and Healing Out Loud. I'm your host, Jen Simpson. I hope you're having a beautiful morning, afternoon, night, wherever you are in the world. Around here, we don't chase perfection. We practice honesty. We're talking unlearned patterns, boundaries, faith, and the brave act of telling the truth in public, behind closed doors, and out loud. Today I'm joined by Larissa Makuc. A high-performance coach and border-designed trainer of NLP timeline therapy and hypnotherapy. She helps high achievers rewrite the beliefs that keeps them small, that keeps them stifled, that keeps them balled up in this tiny little ball. And keep stepping into lives that feel like freedom. Teaching them how to step boldly into their lives, teaching them how to move out of those uncomfortable conversations. And one of those uncomfortable conversations is money. If you listened to last week's episode, we talked about inherited beliefs and the stories we carry from our childhood into adulthood. Today's guest takes that conversation one step further. Larissa Makuch helps women identify the subconscious scripts running their lives and more importantly, rewriting them. Today we'll be unwinding with her the truths and the lies and the inherited beliefs, the generational cycles that were passed down to us, that told us, eat the food there are starving children in other countries. Money doesn't grow on tree. We're here to face those things that were passed down to us that now we transfer onto our children. The lie that we were told that we have to work hard, overwork ourselves, be in uncomfortable careers and spaces just to make money. So without further ado, please welcome Larissa with me. You look absolutely gorgeous. I love your hair. I love the haircut. It looks phenomenal on you.

SPEAKER_01 2:37

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 2:37

I'm actually here and I'm admiring the cut. So have to say that to you, let you know that I love it. It was gorgeous. We are here on the Licensees platform. And I'm absolutely honored to have you as a guest. And I want to thank you for reaching out. I want to thank you for saying yes to being a guest and to continue to share your voice, not only in your own practice and thriving in your own life, but helping others thrive and understand life may seem like it's going left, but it can go right for you. And I want to ask you today, what do you represent and what do you hope that your legacy will be when you leave this earth?

unknown 3:21

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_01 3:22

That's a big, that's a big, big question. What a great way to start. I think I I represent truth. Not everyone else's truth, but my own truth. And I think it took me a while, it took me a long time to really accept that and to own that and to comprehend what that really means. I I remember, in contrast to the truth, in high school at some point, probably 11th or 12th grade, for some weird reason, I thought lying was just a good idea. So I tried being like a liar and making up little fabes. And I, by Friday, like I don't think I could keep up with being a liar for a week. Like I I don't always, I sometimes share too much information. I sometimes share things that people don't don't understand and may not comprehend. But I know for myself, like this whole idea of being truthful, I'd rather be truthful than perfect. I'd rather be truthful than and potentially hurt someone's feelings, but but really do it from a loving place, not to be mean, but but really be truthful and stand up for what I believe in and stand up for what I feel is right. I think a lot of times we simply accept what other people say. We accept the common ways of being, and we don't have the guts to even pay attention to who we are, what we want, and express that. So for me, my my big thing in my life is truth. I am a truth seeker. It is my my um it is part of my spiritual blueprint. And when I realized that and I could articulate it, it just felt so aligned and so good. And what I want to be remembered for is not just being empowered myself, but helping to empower others, always believing in them when they don't believe in themselves. It's it's very easy to be judgmental, it's very easy to get caught up in the hoopla. I don't know if that's the right word for it. But I think when we see people as themselves and we see people with the possibilities of what could be, and we we don't accept all of the challenges and all of the excuses, we don't have to have a tolerance of them, but we can still love people, we can still honor them, we can still respect them for who they are and how they're showing up. We're not all perfect. We're we're all and yet we are perfect at the same time, right? We don't all behave perfectly, we make mistakes, we we make some interesting life choices. But when we can show up in our own truth and we can share that with others and encourage others to do that, that's just such a beautiful way to live. You can find good in anything if you look for it.

SPEAKER_00 6:10

I love that, and still honoring them. I find that sometimes when we go through situations with people, we completely write them off. We forget about the good times, we forget about the moments, we just remember that one bad moment, and that's what we remember remember them by. But we can still honor their truth and who they are and acknowledge, yes, you may have done something, but you're human. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:34

I I remember one of my first times. I've I've attended so many seminars, and I and that was one of the things that inspired me to do what I'm doing now because there were all these speakers on big stages 20, 25 years ago when I was just starting in the financial services arena. That was my first career uh prior to entering in the coaching space. And I remember listening to some of these speakers. I'm like, wow, these are remarkable speakers, and some of them I totally connected with, and there were others I did not jive with. I'm like, you are not my person. But one of the things I feel like has always been a strength and a superpower, whether it's a mentor, whether it's it's um just a person around me, is I didn't have to like that person to learn from them. I didn't have to like them to respect them for certain things, not everything. I didn't have to like them to to send them love, to send them good wishes, to to treat them with kindness. And and I think that was definitely something I learned early on is you're not going to be everyone's person. Not everyone is your person, but people are people, and it's our job to show up and learn. It's our job to show up and shine, it's our job to show up as the best of ourselves. And when we do, we can walk out with our head up high.

SPEAKER_00 7:50

That is true. That is a that is a real realization. And I think that goes to even in school, you may not like your teacher. That doesn't mean you don't respect them. That doesn't mean you can't learn from them. We won't like everybody, that doesn't mean that we can't agree. Listeners, I have a task for you before we begin. I want you to place your hand on your heart, breathe in, and take a deep breath out. What truth have you been whispering to yourself because the world felt loud? Today we stop whispering, we heal out loud. And today we're joined by Larissa. What you said you wanted to be represented as truth, I see it. It's hard to speak the truth and easier to tell a lie. Walking in truth means so much more than just saying, Well, yes, I went through this, it's also honoring what you went through and being the roadmap for somebody else. So I'm absolutely honored and delighted to be sitting here with you to speak truth and be a light in somebody else's life today. And I pray that listeners, you are listening and you're ready to dig in with Larissa and I. And more importantly, I'm excited because Larissa is from Toronto, and Toronto's where I'm from, so I always get excited when I have Toronto guests because Toronto is the place that shaped me and I love, and I would like to know, and I'm sure our listeners would like to know, what was your childhood like? Were you always a diehard Canadian Toronto woman? Were you raised in Toronto? What was your family dynamic like?

SPEAKER_01 9:37

Yeah, so I was born and raised in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, so I'm a prairie girl. Okay and not from not from the farm. We we we do have farmland and we we spent a lot of time on the farm, but we were raised in the city. And so it's a very flat population of a couple hundred thousand people, and it was we were raised very, very culturally. So I'm Ukrainian, um, I have a Ukrainian background. So we were raised Ukrainian dancing, going to Ukrainian church, going to a Ukrainian bilingual school, being part of a Ukrainian choir. I mean, that's just what you do. What what else would you do? And and so we lived in this bubble which was familiar, which was comfortable, which was our identity and who we were. Like I identified as this Ukrainian-Canadian person. And and so it was good. I mean, that was the comfort zone. And when I was um when I was probably about six, seven, my my parents split up and and then my mother got remarried. So there was a little bit of first world drama happening. And when I looked back at it, I was like, wow, like it wasn't that bad, but I carried a lot of weight. I think there was a lot of negative energy that came along with that, a lot of hurt, a lot of pain. And I didn't really know how to deal with it or process it effectively. Like my stepfather, he didn't treat us any differently than his own kids. So I'm extremely grateful for that. And I think a lot of a lot of people are um they're they're not fortunate in that way. They get segmented, they get picked like sort of separated from from other people. But it we were we were just a house full of a lot of people. But even within that, I had a privileged life, but there was also a history of abuse and major poverty mindset that came along with that. And I I look back at some of those things that were instilled in me. And one of the things I got very competent at was bitching, complaining, gossiping, focusing on everything that's going wrong and being a victim in my own life. And it's kind of like that teenage girl mentality where it's like, oh, everything has to go wrong. Like I feel like there was a there's a lot of that that that lingered for many, many years. And I remember it wasn't until I moved way across the country, and and I feel very blessed for for my ex-husband. He and I moved across the country to Windsor for four years, and then now I live in Toronto. I've been here for many years, 16, 17 years now. And so um, but I feel so blessed that he came with me and he he gave me the courage to take that leap. I never imagined moving away from home. I like it was not part of my anything I'd ever dreamed of, and and I did, and it was so scary. But one of the things I realized is not everyone's Ukrainian, not everyone Ukrainian dances, not everyone goes to Ukrainian church, not everyone's in the Ukrainian community. We we did connect with the Ukrainian communities out east, but we met other people and we met a lot of different types of people, and we spent a lot of time with them, and I realized I'm like, different people think differently. Different people don't complain about the things that I've been conditioned to complain about. I'm like, wow, different people are really grateful and they're genuine and they're kind in in ways I've just never seen before. And and I started learning and I realized I'm like, me being a victim, nobody really cares. Like they care about me, but they're busy living their own lives. And they want me to be a good person just like them. And I started really re-evaluating that. And and I went on a personal growth journey. It's been it's been many, many years, but I I read a lot of books. I I observed, I love people watching. I observed a lot of different people. And and over the course of my various careers from financial services to real estate investment to um newspaper advertising sales, to uh I had a pole dance home party business. So where we take a poll into the home and do birthday and bachelor parties for women. And then even my previous career in the mind-body space. I was I was a Pilates instructor and ran a Pilates studio, one of the largest in North America. And it was beautiful. All of these opportunities were amazing. But the more I grew, the more I transitioned, the more I really started learning about myself, the the better I could show up. And when I finally took the plunge and and didn't just dabble and try to learn for myself, but really invested into myself, really invested in into my my self-care, my my training and and my learning at a very accelerated rate, especially in terms of the mind, how it works, how how the words you say and the language you say impacts you, how your intentions really dictate and drive your life. When I started studying universal law, the the foundations of what everything is built on, these are things that are found in biblical or spiritual texts of all kinds of cultures, and also in science. And what happens is people don't realize that the answers to almost everything in life can be found in science and theology. Sometimes they use different words, they use different modalities, different language, but ultimately there's there's definitely connection points between them. And and I started looking at things instead of adding labels to them, but I started seeing things for what they are. And the more information I ingested and applied, that's the key, the better I started to feel. And it it totally transformed my life. Like I've had so many blessings and so many privileges. I've I've traveled across the globe, I've performed on international like stages all like around the world. I my my wedding, it was like the wedding I dreamt about in childhood and didn't even realize it, but it was even better. And it we got this beautiful video, and and over 150,000 people, or 135 at this point, have seen my video. And um, that's amazing. And we've been aired on television, we've been featured in books. I I've um had the privilege of working with mentors all across the globe. I I wrote a book, I I left my my Pilates career at the peak of my career. Things were good. It was it was so hard to leave, but I knew in my heart I had to take an another path. Like I've had so many beautiful privileges. Um, and and and even with my son, like just having this amazing human that that teaches me a lot of things and points things out to me so diligently. Um but but I'm blessed and I feel so much more aligned today than I ever have been. And to be able to take this work that I do, our company now it's it started ready, fire, aim. I didn't know what I was getting into, I didn't even know why I was doing it. I was just like, spirit is speaking to me, and my husband's like, Larissa, if you keep doing what you're currently doing, are you gonna get to where you need to be? And and that day I couldn't say yes. I was like, I loved everything I was doing, I was earning great money, had a great title, loved my clients, loved my my team, but I had to move. So we started this business, and and then a few years ago we incorporated as Larissa or as Abundance Academy, and now we literally help women create abundant lives. And that just feels so beautiful, so incredible, whether it's health, wealth, as in money. Okay, wealth, money is important, money, and and and relationships and and career, that contribution you're making in the world when you really look at all those pillars and have a rich and fulfilling life in all arenas, you show up differently. Yeah, you're kind of my journey. That's a bit of my journey. It started like icky, then it was like confused. Now it's really good. Do I have bad days? Do I have things that come up? Absolutely. I am total human.

SPEAKER_00 17:42

We're human.

SPEAKER_01 17:43

However, no matter how bad things are, I have practiced see the good side in things. I could always find something positive, no matter what's going on. Some days I might not want to articulate it, but most of the time, like I've practiced so much getting out of that space that it's just become such a different way of being in my life right now.

SPEAKER_00 18:03

Yeah, find the beauty, regardless of what's happening around us.

SPEAKER_01 18:08

You mentioned being sometimes we try to force it. We don't want to force it.

SPEAKER_00 18:12

We really do try to force it sometimes. But you mentioned being Ukrainian.

SPEAKER_01 18:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:20

What did being Ukrainian mean to you back then? And what does it mean to you today?

SPEAKER_01 18:26

Back then, I think it was just it was such a strong part of my identity. And it was it was like the first thing I thought about. It was I I had to be married to a Ukrainian person. I had to speak Ukrainian, I had to do everything. It was just that was the community you're involved in. Someone calls, you you drop everything and go. It was just, it was such an immersive part of my life. It was just how I felt I had to be. Um, so it it was my entire identity. Now I I I feel like sure, that's that's my ancestral background. I I I'm grateful for it. I am extremely grateful for my grandparents and for my family that's that's brought culture, that's brought opportunities to us. But I I feel like my whole perception of what that was has expanded because I I really feel like this holistic being. I'm not identifying as someone or something else. And and I don't need to be part of a collective. I really am my own person. And so I think it's definitely a part of my history. I don't think it's my only destiny at this point. And I I I've never imagined I would have ever said that.

SPEAKER_00 19:42

But you're glad that you came to that realization, but you're still honoring it, just like we spoke about before.

SPEAKER_01 19:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:51

We inherit so many beliefs from family, culture, and even faith and communities. Which ones did you find sitting quietly at the root of your story?

SPEAKER_01 20:05

Um, I think there's definitely the the one at the I think about the dinner table. You better eat that because there's starving children in Africa. Money doesn't grow on trees. So I think there was a definitely a lot of money paradigms that came up, especially around food. Like we got groceries, and what did we do? Parents got paid every two weeks, so that's the day we went grocery shopping. You eat all the good food, so you get it before everyone else does, and you run out. We never fully ran out of food, but we ran out of good food. And at the end, you're just like scavenging for whatever you can find in the house until payday. We knew when payday was. So there were different behaviors and and ways of being that like we don't go into stores like that because they cost too much money. So don't even go looking. And and I I wasn't used to looking at luxury things or beautiful things or expensive things or being around things. We would look at things because they were on sale. And and we bought so much stuff just because it was on sale. We didn't even need half of it. I remember one day we would we were lining up at like 5 a.m. to go to Walmart and Superstore. I can't remember which opened first, but to go to the Christmas aisle on Boxing Day, which is the 26th. It's not a big thing anymore. It's kind of like Black Friday, but Christmas decorations were 75 to 90 percent off that day. And like we had we had a probably like 20 boxes of Christmas stuff in our house. We had a huge house decorated Christmas head to toe, but they were on sale. So we had to line up in the middle of the night to go buy these decorations. Like it because they were on sale. And and I think there's a lot of those kinds of money paradigms that were instilled. I think another one that that I had that was definitely a big one that nobody Told it to me, but I must have gotten it. I don't know if it was from my my mother or where. I've done a lot of work around it. I just don't consciously remember. But I do, I know, I know like not good enough was such a big part of it. And I would get my report card and I would punish myself before my mom even saw my report card. She never punished me for getting an like an 80 and a like I'm like, oh my gosh, I didn't get a 90 or 95 or 97. And I would punish myself for anything under 90 and be disappointed if it was under 95. Like, and she never did, but I I was so hard on myself because I didn't think I was good enough and and I always wanted to be better. But then there was this weird chit-chat that always that kept happening in my head. And it wasn't until I literally buckled down and did the work, did the inner work, did the spiritual work, actually did the learning and and and became gentle with myself. Like I realized I'm like, I'm a really great person. Do I know everything? No. Am I good enough? Absolutely. Am I always good enough to do a certain skill? Not necessarily yet, but I could if I choose to. If I do the work, I know I have the capacity to do that. And it started really reframing how I show up to things, but definitely like not good enough as like a root personal thing. And then a whole lot of money paradigms that that showed up from family and from friends and school and sales and things like that.

SPEAKER_00 23:29

It's so interesting because money is a big elephant. It's like, you know, when you're driving across the border and they're like, look out for the bears, look out for the dares. Money is that. Money's the bear, and money is the deer that we look out for. It's a it's a word we all avoid. And I really believe it's how we were raised, like you said, because that was the thing that my mom would always say to us, eat it. It doesn't matter if we didn't like it, eat it. Money doesn't grow on tree.

SPEAKER_01 24:01

Yeah. So you had the they went to the same school, right?

SPEAKER_00 24:05

They must have gone to the same school, right? And it was such a thing where it became cringing for me as an adult to talk about money.

unknown 24:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:15

Starving, there's starving kids in Africa that would love this food. Eat it. I don't care if you don't like it. And we talk about say that again.

SPEAKER_01 24:28

You gotta finish all the food even if you're full.

SPEAKER_00 24:31

Even if you're full, you gotta finish, right? You don't have to, you don't want to be wasteful. And you talked about not seeing yourself as valuable, not seeing ourselves in high regard. And money plays a big role in that for me because my mom was busy working more than one job, um, complaining about money, hiding money from her partner, that she was too busy to acknowledge us, to say, good job for getting an A, good job for accomplishing something. Um, birthday parties were just thrown because it's it was a tradition. You throw birthday parties. That's what we do. It wasn't celebrating life. It wasn't celebrating, okay, you're alive, you're 12 years old, oh my gosh, you're 16, oh my gosh, you're 18. There was never a celebration because mom was too busy trying to make money to provide food that she's practically shoving down our throat. And I am absolutely grateful and blessed that we had food, but money became an issue in my adult life. So I definitely agree and I understand that because for me the struggle was I'm not gonna buy that. What if what if what if something happens tomorrow? I may need that 20 bucks, I may need that 50 bucks. So I was that person that I would buy things for myself to be like, okay, fine, I like it, I'm gonna buy it. And I'd go back to the store days later and return it because I didn't think I was worthy of it. Or why do I need it? You're not going to a special event, bring it back.

unknown 26:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:05

Or it's so sad to say, but I'm actually glad that I'm celebrating my birthday this year because celebrating my birthday and the things that I've accomplished in my life was hard because I didn't know how to. Nobody ever taught me, nobody told me it was okay to do that. So like, why am I celebrating it for? It's normal. Everybody, everybody achieves things in life. So why are you celebrating it? Why are you so special? And it was that imposter syndrome that keeps popping up for a lot of people. So it's interesting that you you pinpointed some things that are very relatable. And I wanted to ask you, if there's one that you used to live by and one that you live by now, what would it be? Or what are those two things? Like a mantra or a mantra thing, or so what one of those childhood things that you know in your household you used to live by because that's what you knew as a child, or just as a Ukrainian woman person, what was that thing that you live by that you no longer live by now? And what are what is something that you do still live by?

SPEAKER_01 27:09

Oh my word. Just one, like so many. Um I feel, okay, you have to work hard for money. That was one thing. Like, my grandmother was an immigrant and she cleaned floors and like they they did manual labor. My grandma went to school for two weeks in her life. She didn't have the privilege of going to school. So, like, she wanted to make sure we all got an education. But I always was taught to work hard. I am built to be a workhorse. That is a superpower of mine. Amazing. But I remember I was at the cottage a few years ago, and I relatively recently started our business, this the business. And I I had done an event, and I I had calls with people that wanted to connect with us and learn more about what we do, or or um at least like get some get some feedback on the things that we were talking about. And I remember one of those calls. This is before we did Zoom, I did a lot more phone calls back then. And so one of those calls, I was weeding the garden. Like I was weeding outside and having like this beautiful conversation with a person, totally present, but I was like in nature. And they wanted to, I didn't think, I didn't think they were the kind of person that would be interested or even appropriate. And they were like, I think I want to do this. I want to work with you. And I'm like, all right, let me run to my computer. Great. But I was like outside in nature, and they just wanted to work with me. I had I had three calls in a single day, all of them just like so easy. When I was sitting on a sofa, like they were all easy, they were all natural, they were all so perfectly aligned. And I'm like, that day I earned over$20,000. And that was my first$20,000 day. And making money was easy. And I was like, I'm not even working hard. It was fun, it was natural, it wasn't like hustle. Yes, I did the work, I did other things to help people and and and plant those seeds. But that was the day I realized I'm like, when I work hard, I don't get paid well. When I let things happen, and when I when I'm really aligned, things just work really easily. And and so making money can be easy, and it can be easy for me. That was a really big one, and I can just be chillaxed enough to actually do that. That's not something I ever grew up with. And so I think that's something that's changed. Um, I I also feel like another one, maybe as a higher level framework. I I used to feel like money was this concrete thing, black and white on a spreadsheet. And it is like you see your bank statement, you see numbers, it is this beautiful concrete thing that you can measure. However, when you really look at the energy of money, money is an energy. Albert Einstein said, everything is energy, that's all there is to it. Match the frequency of what you desire, and you can't help but get it. This is not philosophy, this is physics. And the more I started learning about money and spirituality and the and the intersections between money and spirituality, it's not money is not the root of all evil, it's the love of money that's the root of all evil. So when you like, there's a lot of biblical references, and I this is something I want to explore in even more depth in the next season for myself personally. I'm just like, I want to look up like all these biblical references and really do a deep dive study of this. Like I've done some, it's not as much as I'd like to, but so that's a personal project I'm gonna do. But money is a spiritual idea, it's not it's not just this physical thing. It does have a physical expression, but at its core, when you start looking at money as a spiritual thing, when you start looking at yourself and everything in your life as a spiritual thing, you step into a different kind of power, a different kind of energy. And this is why it's so important that we really look at our energy around money, our relationship with money. I do a every few years, I'll run a revolutionize your relationship with money series. We're about to start it with our clients, and so we're having this money conversation. Money's really top of mind for us right now. Um but a lot of people are hurting. Why? Not because they're not earning enough, not because they're overspending. Those might be truthful, those might be facts. Um, not be but the fact is there are relationship issues that people have that when you really start looking at the energetic components and combining them with the physical, all of a sudden you start to change your trajectory. Because I I remember working with a client and she she earned a few million dollars a year. And she's like, I see the money in my bank account. Like, I earned so much more than most people. I know I'm blessed, I know this is really good, like I'm doing really well. And she didn't feel worthy. Most people don't earn a couple million dollars a year, but money having the cash did not solve her problems. Why? Because she wouldn't even buy herself a barbecue because she did not feel worthy, and until we looked at what the underlying root causes were, until we really explored that, and until we until we reframed her relationship around money and improved her relationship, kind of like when you're dating, if you have a toxic relationship with your partner, you're not gonna have a good relationship. Like you wanna be, you wanna be dating and and in a in a healthy relationship with the right people. Well, you want to do the same thing with your money, and you do have relationships with money. And so we we started to heal her energy around money, and all of a sudden, she's like, it didn't matter whether she had the barbecue or not, it didn't matter whether she had a car like three of her other friends did or not. She's like, I know cars are trivial, but I see them and I have this phone, and I feel horrible that I mean I could buy it, but it would be a stretch. She's like, I don't need a supercar, but I kind of want one because they do. And she's like, I shouldn't feel this uh need to try to measure up like the Joneses. And so she was able to make concrete choices that were aligned with herself once we did that. And so it's not the amount you have, it's it's really a relationship, and cleaning that up is so imperative. And and checking in on it on a regular basis, what you focus on expands is crucial. So one okay, you said what's something that present. Okay, let me think.

SPEAKER_00 33:46

Um and this is in the area of money, it could be anything, but it could be money, it could be relationships, um, how you treat yourself.

SPEAKER_01 33:58

I think there's definitely a tendency um to dismiss myself before others. Like I I so much better than before. I will say no to people, but under certain circumstances, like I will still let the guilt kick in and be like, well, I feel like I should do this. Well, I feel like I should do this. Oh, you're asking me, I totally don't want to. I feel like I should, so I'm going to do it. And it's not because it, it's not because my heart wants to, it's not because it's just the right thing to do. There's an obligation. And I think some of those moments where you feel obligated, like I will still say yes, way less than before. But there are still moments where I say yes and I get a little resentful. And so I'm I'm trying to make a really conscious effort to only do things that are aligned, to only say yes to things and opportunities that are aligned, knowing that some people might get hurt, knowing some people might not like it, and that's okay. I think that's a that's a big thing. I've definitely gotten better, but it's still a very conscious effort, and it is not natural, it is not intuitive for me.

SPEAKER_00 35:12

What you choose today becomes the legacy you pass on.